Peeling Back the Layers on Caregiving

Thanks again to our incredible research partners at FrameShift, we’re back with more insights from our recent individual in-depth interviews with women! While only 60% of the women we heard from have children of their own, nearly all of them said something about caring for others or being a caregiver. But what’s really interesting is how differently caregiving can show up as part of someone’s identity! We’ve sorted participants into three groups based on similar traits they share so we can better understand these differences.

For one group of women, being a mother is an intrinsic part of their being. They told us how important it is to them, how they were raised to become moms, and how much fulfillment they find in the accomplishments of their children.

“I did always want to be a mom, even when I was young. It is what I am.”

40-year-old in Pennsylvania

In this group, even those who don’t have kids of their own strongly expressed that they see themselves as compassionate caregivers, whether that means being a supportive wife, tending to aging parents, or always being there for a struggling friend.

Take a look at these “onion” identity maps made by the women we interviewed. Notice how “motherhood” and “caretaker” appear in the innermost ring, where the most closely-held facets of identity go.

For the younger, more hedonistic group we talked about last month, caregiving is less of an innate identity. These folks are on a journey to find their purpose in life, and some of them see motherhood or caregiving as a responsibility that led them to that purpose and sense of direction they said were missing. Quite a few women told us that being responsible for someone else is what gave them the strength to improve themselves, or what helped them to feel less lost in life.

“Having strength of conviction is a difficult thing. I haven’t always had it, but being a parent helped me get that. When you have a responsibility for others, it’s easier to find the voice.”

32-year-old in Pennsylvania

Several of these women put motherhood or caregiving in the center of their identity maps too, but it was never the sole facet of their identity there.

Some of the older women we spoke to had yet another perspective on motherhood and caregiving. These folks speak of the caregiver role they played as something they had to learn, not something innate about who they are. Caregiving is and was meaningful to these women, but they also look back on the sacrifices they made and wonder where the other road would have taken them. They specifically mentioned things like writing the great American novel, going to med school, and pursuing musical ambitions.

Notice how nurturing and caregiving show up for these women too, but further away from the core. One thing that is really interesting about this group: they really care about others, and they recognize systemic barriers that can hold people back. Even those who are less focused on caregiving as mothers want to care for others in the world.

The women who generously shared their time with us show just how much caregiving and motherhood can shape one’s identity, provide purpose and direction, and evoke the entire range of human emotions. Different parts of our community had very different takes on caregiving and family, but they made one thing really clear: everyone is looking for a support system, a family, or a village that makes them feel safe, valued, and purposeful. That’s what we want too here at Galvanize USA, and that’s why we’re focused on connecting with women to build that America that works better for everyone.