Tips for Brave Conversations

In today’s world, it can feel like conversations turn into fights way too fast—especially when it comes to talking about current events or politics. Many folks see people who disagree with them as their enemies instead of just neighbors with differing opinions. This is toxic polarization at work, pulling us all away from each other. We need to find our way back together, and the best way to do that is to see the humanity in everyone and realize our fates are linked.

Last month we talked about calling real women in our Deep Listening Program. Our amazing volunteers swapped stories with all sorts of women from all sorts of backgrounds. They didn’t always agree on the best ways to solve our country’s problems, but they did really listen and make genuine, human connections.

But not all of those conversations were easy! Talking about the big issues that affect our lives is challenging, to say the least. It can be tempting to write someone off when you don’t agree with them, but that’s when it’s most important to have brave conversations. Whether you’re attempting to connect on issues that matter to you or just trying to understand your neighbor better, consider these tips for having productive conversations instead of fights:

• Build a strong rapport with the person you’re speaking to. Some of our best volunteers suggest smiling (even while on the phone), finding small details (such as shared hobbies) to agree with or bond over, and validating folks when they join you in hard conversations. You don’t have to agree with things you don’t actually agree with, but find small ways to reward the person you’re talking to for sharing.

• Avoid fact battling. It’s more effective to inspire broad self-persuasion than to argue about a specific issue. “I can tell you really value [relevant value]” tends to be a good tool to redirect a conversation.

• Be vulnerable and share your stories. Deep listening is effective because it works both ways. Galvanize USA volunteers use worksheets to help them identify real stories from their own past that will help them forge connections—doing a little self-reflection first is always a good idea.

• Listen for stories. If you hear a hint of a story, you may need to ask questions to tease the full story out. Begin by asking something like “tell me more about that” and then move into specific who, what, when questions to dive deeper.

• Make sure your language meets folks where they are. Using common language is much more inviting and helps folks really understand each other. It’s important to use real-world language that makes sense in context.

Having brave conversations is a skill like any other; it has to be learned and practiced. That’s why our incredible community comes together to put these skills to use every day in our supportive digital spaces.

“The way to handle politics is with kindness and respect. That’s the real problem here not the difference of opinions. We somehow have forgotten the art of letting someone know we value them and their point of view even when it’s opposite of ours. What happened to the long discussions and debates where we shared ideas as friends and family?”

Wisconsin Voter

We’ll leave you with a small challenge: practice having a brave conversation this month! Need even more tips and examples? Check out these empowering questions you can ask when things get tough!